All around update

I am still going strong over here. It has been a hard week for me though. I ate a steak and cheese sub last night and only went over 2 points for the day. Thank god for the weeklies. Thursday we have our Pop Warner football banquet. I have no idea what they will be serving but let's hope I can stay on plan.

I realized that I really haven't updated about the boys. Let's see Terrell is almost 9, in 3rd grade now and doing really well. However the teenage eye rolling seems to have started already. Really? At almost 9? He is a good kid for the most part though and he still likes to cuddle Mom.

Jayden will be 4 in May and he is a trip. He is still a little terror that will not sleep in his own bed all night. He terrorizes his brother his friends and the cat. He knows his numbers from 1 to 0 by sight, he runs around telling us what time it is. He is trying to learn letters now. He is precious and wild and sweet and sour and I could not love him more.

Tony and I are in a really good spot in our marriage. Things seem to have taken a turn for the better. He tells me daily now that he loves me. He is changing and not drinking as much. Life is good.

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My sister did an online search for our mother the other day while under the influence of ambien. Without going into the whole sordid back story my mother left when I was 6 and Sis was 2 in fact I may have still been 5. She left us without a backward glance and it was many years and a search using her social security # before I had contact with her again. At that point I was the "bad child" and I believe not wanted in either household, so I ran away and kept running time after time. I tried drugs, I sold my body, I had a child I gave up for adoption, I was beaten by my step mother badly. I was raised by alcholics. Mothers are supposed to care for and protect their children, mine didn't. She is a coward and a bitch. I feel I need to tell her this, So I think at some point this weekend I will sit down and tell her how my life was hell for many years. I believe alot of it started when she turned her back on her children one day in 1976 and it got worse for many many years but I also want her to know that in spite of that I made something of my self and I am a better mother than she could have ever hoped to be because of the crap and bullshit I have waded through my whole life. The only thing I want or need from her is a complete medical history after that she is dead to me, hell right now she is dead to me for the most part.

Great Changes

You know I did not think about this before my sister said it but this year has been a year of great changes. First Terrell went to kindergarten, Jayden was born and now we are buying a house. Wow we have been busy.

We are set to do our walk through on Monday and close Tuesday morning. We are pleasantly surprised that our closing costs are lower than we thought they would be. Good for us because now we can afford to do things like buy groceries and diapers. I really need to get on the ball with the packing. I guess it will seem more real to me once we have closed.

Another post coming tomorrow as it will be Jayden's first birthday.

Accomplishments

Well for the last few days Jayden has been standing up by himself off and on. Today he may have even taken his first step. I am not sure if I should count it or not because it was more like a tumble than a step. What do you guys think?

Terrell was pretty sick the last part of last week and all weekend. He is doing much better now, and no it is not the sw1ne flu. He had something viral and it was bad. 103.5 fevers and lots of sleeping. Of course once I took him to the doctor he started to get better. Isn't that always the way?

My SIL is visiting again. She was just here in September, then we saw her in November during our trip to California. Now she is talking about coming back in June to see the new house. God love her this is the most she has ever visited us.

Dad

My Dad is going to die. Not today or tomorrow or even a month from now but it is going to happen. Most likely sometime this year. I am having a hard time processing that. My step mother was pulled aside by their Doctor yesterday and told to prepare herself. My sister called me and told me, I was in Stop and Shop at the time and to be honest I almost started to cry right there. I had to get off the phone immediately. The thing is I know his time is short and yet it has been weeks since I called him. Weeks people. Something is holding me back, it is like I don't feel a connection to him. When we do talk we have nothing to say. I mean how much can you talk about the weather? We never talk about anything important, if I was to ask about my Mom or talk about how bad my childhood was he would just close up. He is going to be gone and no one will have the answers I or my sister need to have. I just don't know why I can't pick up the phone and call, is it that I really have not forgiven him for the past? Is it the fact that we were estranged for so long that I don't really feel like I have a parent? How sad is that? I have no parents that really care about me. I mean I know my Dad loves me but sometimes I wonder if he cares or even knows how to care? Tell me why am I having such a hard time making myself pick up that phone?

New home?

We are in the very beginning stages of buying a house. I am scared and excited at the same time. W have started the process for an FHA loan. We need to go to a 1st time home buyer class. 2 Saturdays from 9-1. The application makes my head hurt and Tony is grumpy. I know it is because he is nervous too. This is such a big step for our little family. I do look forward to owning something and giving my kids a yard to play in and rooms of their own. More than anything though I want a big ass tub to soak in!

1st post of the new year

and guess what? We have all been sick, sicker than sick. We all had strep throat and really bad colds. I still managed to work NYE and NYD but I did not feel good doing it. We all got on medicine and are starting to feel better but we are still not 100%. I forgot how much it sucks being sick and still needing to take care of kids. With all of us sick we took turns. Everyone got a chance wallow in there own sickness and I will admit it I did not take a shower for 3 days. We all smell much better now too. Off to work again today, we are hoping to be 100% by the weekend.

My year in review

I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it was a cool idea. I can not for the life of me remember where I saw it so if it was your blog let me know and I will give proper credit.

So without further ado here is a favorite blog post of mine from each month of the past year.

Results ~ Jan.08

Moving ~ Feb.08

Meat? ~ March 08

5 years old ~ April 08

Look what I made! ~ May 08

Graduation ~ June 08

Devastated ~ July 08

Zip Trip ~ Aug. 08

Kindergarten ~ Sept. 08

Weekend ~ Oct. 08

Parenting Tip # 654 ~ Nov. 08

Watch out ~ Dec. 08

So there you have it my favorite posts of 2008. Happy new year to you all.

Christmas 2008

Merry Christmas to you all. It is after 3 now and I am at work. I love love love going to work after the busy busle this morning. Terrell was so happy this morning, he loved his hot wheels race track and his slinky. Who knew that a $1 toy would be such a big hit. I will be uploading pictures in the next day or so. Tony got me american idol karoke for the PS3. It is fun and I can't wait to play it again. Jayden loved the wrapping paper and not much else. Off to do some work now.

Vacation Recap

To those of you who answered my questions thank you. It was nice to see that I do have readers. You know besides my sister who is required to read my blog. We had a great time and I am going to tell you about it in bullets.

• On Friday we arrived and immediatly went to In and Out burger. You west coasters know what I am talking about. They have the best burgers ever and they are cheap!
• While sitting down eating said burgers there was a mysterious knock at the garage door. Now had any of us been thinking we would have known it was strange to have someone knock on the inside garage door. Turns out Tony's twin sister had come out on Wednesday to surprise us.
• It was pretty nice to see her again ans amazingly she did not get on my nerves this time.
• Saturday and Sunday we just chilled around the house, enjoying spending time with everyone.
• One big reason I love my inlaws? Because they treat me just like a daughter. MIL got up with Jayden the first night we were there and made me go back to bed. She then got up every single night with him so I could sleep. It makes me weepy just thinking of all the wonderful sleep I will be missing now.
• The last 3 nights we were there J slept through the night.
• MIL got up to check that he was still breathing. Guess those mothering instincts never die.
• On Monday we went to Legoland. Just me, Tony, Terrell, Jayden and MIL.
• We had a blast, that place was so much fun. Not crowded and the rides were just right for T.
• Tuesday was spent hanging around the house again.
• Wednesday SIL went home. We also went to the March field air museum.
• Terrell loves airplanes so this was awesome for him. It was pretty cool for the grown ups too.
• I think FIL enjoyed showing all of it to T.
• Thursday we relaxed at home and then went to Hooters with T to watch the Pats play. We had also gone there on Sunday morning to see the game.
• Hooters has tater tots with cheese, sour cream, bacon bits and chives on the menu. YUMMY!
• Friday was spent at the San Diego Zoo. I forget how huge this place is, we spent all day there and we still did not see everything.
• Terrell loved the Giraffes.
  
• Let me tell you how good we ate. Catfish and shrimp one day. Sunday dinner which was the bomb! Smothered pork chops. Spaghetti my SIL made. Homemade sweet potato pie. Homemade Carrot cake. Just good food and beakfast almost every day. You can tell my MIL loves to cook for her family.
• We also got a family portrait done while we were all there. Can't wait to get them back.

Now for a bunch of pictures!

Weekend

Saturday we spent going to the grocery store, breakfast together and picking up a toy box. Once home T and I went through the over abundance of toys in this house and got rid of some of them. Our playroom looks nice once again.

On Sunday we went to a wedding at the Georgetown country club. It was for a friend of the family and it was very nice. Here are some pictures:

"grandma" Jane and the kids

Terrell dancing with Mrs. B

Jayden dancing with the bride

The 4 of us

We had a great time. Tony and T were up dancing and having a blast. It was such a nice wedding. The couple that got married have a little boy named Jaden too.

My husband has lost his damn mind! He told me to shut up not once but twice yesterday. Both times in front of our children and once in front of company. I immediately told everyone they had to leave. No surprise to me that he was drunk. I wish this would end. My sons are going to think it is ok to talk to people that way. I need to start saving money. Sis ready to open a bank account for me????

Visit

My visit with Dad was good. I don't think we spoke more than maybe 50 words the whole time though. He is the strong silent type though. I am worried about him, I have this nagging feeling I will be getting the call. You know the one, ever since I heard he was sick I have had a rock in the pit of my stomach. I am scared, through everything he is still my Daddy. Mae and I talked a good bit and I can really tell that she has changed. She was very sweet to Jayden and of course that melted my heart a little right there. So that was all good but let me tell you about what my sister did, she would shake the baby up all good and then hand him to me. I have never been covered in so much baby spit up as I was last weekend. Sis payback is a bitch and so am I. I really enjoyed spending time with Sis and Zakary. He is so funny and cute. He keep reciting blues clues episodes. He also kept telling Jayden "no sleeping in the car." He was very serious about it too. At one point he told J that he talked too much, LOL. I wanted to take him home with me. It was nice to just be around my sister, I have missed her so much. I have so many feelings and things I want to write but for some reason I just can not get them out. I am scared my Daddy is gonna die ya'll.

Canobie Lake Park

We went to the local amusement park on Saturday. Can I just say we all had a blast? I will let the pictures tell the story.

Jayden was such a good baby all day.

Yes folks that is my hubby with a look of delight on his face.

Terrell was so happy all day

Me and my boy in the teacups chillin.

Anniversary

Our anniversary was very nice. I got Tony a PS3 and he got me a massage. We both got our presents on Friday, then on our real anniversary on Saturday we did laundry and hung out at home. We took the kids to the sitter in the afternoon and had a few hours alone together. It was really nice. We went to did at The Midwest grill. It is Brazilian BBQ and it was so good. The service was awesome and everyone was so nice. Only had one scare, the dessert I had was a white chocolate cup, I had no idea what was inside but it turns out it was strawberry. I am very allergic to them so it was a scary tense few minutes waiting to see if I was going to have a reaction. Thankful I did not actually eat one so it was all good. After dinner we picked up the kids and came home. I went to bed soon after because I had work on Sunday morning.

PS new post going up at other place.

Birthday

Today is my sister's 34th birthday. Please go over and wish her a happy day. She is sick with a really bad cold/ flu thing and wants jokes. Comment on her page with your best joke!

My best joke is.....

So So

Well so far this first week back to work has been ok. I am in no way ready to go back full time but will be doing so August 3. I miss my boys when I am at work and watch video of them on my phone. I was almost in tears the other night for want of holding Jayden. We are all lacking sleep. Tony who would go to bed at 8:30 every night is now up until 10 or 10:30 with the baby. I am getting to bed around midnight and then the little guy is up around 4. I am not getting enough sleep and neither is Daddy. Tempers are flaring over little things. It should be interesting when it is a 5 day a week thing. How can I get Jayden on a schedule? I mean seriously he needs to be sleeping earlier for Daddy to get some sleep plus I need to sleep too. Coffee is going to be my constant companion. Last night he went down around 10 or so but would not sleep in his crib, he does ok in the bassinet but is quickly out growing it. Any ideas on getting him to sleep in the crib? Last night he slept in his swing all night and I slept on the couch. He did sleep until 6:30 though. I was so tired at one point I looked up to see if he was in the swing and did not see him, in my mind I thought he was in the crib. Anyway help please!

Baptism

Yesterday was Jayden's baptism. It was really nice, only 5 babies were being done so it was nice and small. Jayden was the first baby done. Sometimes it pays to have a name at the beginning of the alphabet. After the church we had a BBQ at the god father's house. It was nice until the pouring rain came down but we made the best of it and just moved everything inside. The food was good and the cake was awesome! We are 2 for 2 though with spelling on the kids christening cakes. Five years ago they spelled T's name wrong and yes yesterday they got J's wrong too. It is like a family curse. Tracey Jayden's god mother got him a beautiful gold cross and chain. I have been calling him little Guido now with the jewelery on. It was a really nice day and all the people important to us were there except my sister, She is the only person who was missing that I really wish could have been there. I hope we get to see each other soon, I am really missing her lately. Oh yeah BTW I am going back to work tomorrow! They called me and asked if I could come back early. Now on to the pictures.

Bullets Again

• Uncle John is now our next door neighbor once again
• Tony and his sons helped him move in yesterday
• It is amazing how giving everyone was, he got 3 TV's, a queen size bed and tons of kitchen stuff
• Both my boys are still asleep and I am enjoying the quiet
• Something in my fridge stinks, I cleaned it out yesterday but then J man started freaking out and I did not get to wipe it down
• The smell is really bad
• I don't want to clean it but if I don't do it you know it won't get done
• Going out tonight to get Jayden christening outfit
• Going sans children WHOO HOO
• Having dinner too
• I have a new addiction MOBSTERS on my space come friend me and play too myspace
• Anyone that still wants to see our pro pics email me or leave me a comment here and I will send the password
  

Professional pictures

The website is now up and running for the photographer that took our family pictures. If you would like to see them email me and I will send you the site and password. imswt4tweety@msn.com