Friday, July 31, 2009
My sister did an online search for our mother the other day while under the influence of ambien. Without going into the whole sordid back story my mother left when I was 6 and Sis was 2 in fact I may have still been 5. She left us without a backward glance and it was many years and a search using her social security # before I had contact with her again. At that point I was the "bad child" and I believe not wanted in either household, so I ran away and kept running time after time. I tried drugs, I sold my body, I had a child I gave up for adoption, I was beaten by my step mother badly. I was raised by alcholics. Mothers are supposed to care for and protect their children, mine didn't. She is a coward and a bitch. I feel I need to tell her this, So I think at some point this weekend I will sit down and tell her how my life was hell for many years. I believe alot of it started when she turned her back on her children one day in 1976 and it got worse for many many years but I also want her to know that in spite of that I made something of my self and I am a better mother than she could have ever hoped to be because of the crap and bullshit I have waded through my whole life. The only thing I want or need from her is a complete medical history after that she is dead to me, hell right now she is dead to me for the most part.