Ugh! This has not been a good week so far. Starting tonight I am working 10pm to 6am. My night person had to be let go from that shift as she was seen sleeping more than once. Luckily she still has a job. To top it off AF is here so I am starving all the time and extra bitchy. Pretty sure I will not be seeing a loss this week but what can you do? This journey will not be won in one week. Last week I lost 2 more pounds so we are now down 18.8. Wow so close to 20 I can taste it, it tastes like chocolate. Well time to get T up and ready for school and J off to the sitter so Mom can get some sleep.

So where to start? Well things are good at work, I am learning more and more everyday about the accounting and sales stuff. I just did my first power point presentation and I think it was really good. Don't get me wrong I still find time to go on Facebook and check mt Farmville everyday but I get my work done first.

My oldest sister recently got in contact with Zephra and I on Facebook. It was a bit of a shock but in a good way. She is 9 years older than me and I think I look like her. I am slowly learning about her and trying to forge a relationship with her. It is not the instant connection I felt with Zephra but I think that is due to the fact that I have more memories of Zephra than Patty.

The kids are awesome! Jayden tries my nerves most everyday, LOL. I swear he is payback for everything I did growing up. We are still trying to get him to sleep in his own bed, but that is for another post. Terrell is getting so big, he has a friend the same age who lives down the street and they are together all the time. I thought I had a few more years before he abandoned me for his friends. It is amazing to watch him grow and bloom into a young man.

As for the DH things are ok. Not as bad as they once were but not as good as I wish they were.  I guess we are just a work in progress.

Mornings

I started the day shift today. So far so good. Getting up and getting everyone out the door was not so bad. I think it helped that everything was out and ready for me too. My SIL talked to her Dad this weekend too and let him and Mom know what is going on with Tony. Saturday was good but again yesterday he was drinking. He gets what I like to call grumpy when he drinks and I just hate it. The whole family is going to get in on a conference call or something and try to figure out what to do. If you are of the praying sort a little pray to the big guy would be great. I have a feeling it is going to be a rough few months ahead of us.

Sorry for the lack of a post this past week. Christmas was nice, the kids were happy with all the goods and Mom and Dad were too. Got me a super duper new toaster oven. Woot, can't beat that!
The boys got way to much but what else is new? Terrell is really enjoying his new football and Jayden loves all the cars and trucks they got. Jayden has a new word, well that is not really true he has a ton of new words. Cold is the one he uses the most right now and snow. Yesterday when changing his clothes he was flopping around and I asked what was wrong and out popped COLD! It is so funny to hear him talking this much.

Terrell is enjoying his week off of school and has been staying up late and sleeping in. Which means Mom get to sleep in too. Starting on Monday I go on days and will be up at 4:30am and out of the house at 5:15am to get the kids to the sitter and me to work by6. Then off at 2 and rush home to pick both boys up, T from school and J from the sitter. God help me the first couple of weeks are gonna be hard.

I am working for NYE and still debating if I am staying at the hotel after my shift or if I am gonna go home. Guess I need to figure it out soon. What are your new year's plans?

Ghost?

Yesterday evening I checked in a guest at the hotel who is a paranormal investigator. His name is Christopher Moon. We have a sign up that says haunted hotel, he asked if it was true and I said some of the overnight people say yes. He then told us who he was and that he would let us know in the morning if anything or anyone was about. Turns out we have a little girl ghost. She was in the area near the vending machines, pacing back and forth. I am pretty sure we have another ghost here as the girls all feel a male presence. I am thinking of emailing him to see if he would come back next time he is in the area. How freaking cool is that?

A word.....

I am making a serious effort to not get stressed out about things at work. It is hard for me but I am really trying. They just don't pay me enough to give myself an ulcer people. Things still are stressful but I am trying very hard to step back and not worry about them.

Things at home are going well. We are all for the most part settling into a routine of sorts. Terrell loves school and is hyped up about learning how to read. The librarian came into his classroom and read them a short story called Christmas in the big woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. He comes home telling me about it so of course I had to pull out my collection of her books. We have started reading the first one together. It gives me a special thrill to read it with him as it was one of my favorite books growing up. It is a memory I will cherish and I hope he does too. He has been doing great on his first few spelling tests and he makes me proud everyday.

Jayden is just Jayden, the little spawn child. He is into everything but is so cute you can't stay mad. Like today when he spilled my ice coffee and was trying to clean it up with a tiny little paper towel, how freaking cute. He got new sneakers yesterday, light up ones and it is funny to watch him busily looking at his feet watching for the lights. What the hell was I thinking when I bought those?

We have a new family pet too. Tony still will not agree to a dog so we bought a Gerbil. Technically she is Terrell's but he is willing to share a bit. He has named her Sweety and she is really cute. I just wish her little plastic wheel was quieter at night.

I Hate............

• my job some days
• my boss some days
• the stress everyday
• that I cry at work
  

Small update

Wow It feels like I have not blogged in forever. Just living life nothing exciting is going on around here. Well except for Tony's back window of his car shattering yesterday on his way home. Did I mention that my babies were in the backseat at the time? No one was hurt but Tony and Jayden were both shook up. Tbone on the other hand said it was no big deal.

We went to a birthday party this past Saturday at Bonkers. T had a blast except for when he lost me. I was very proud of him though. They made us move from the party area and I thought he saw where we were moving to. Turns out I was wrong, he could not find me and got scared BUT he did what Mom has always told him to do. He found a grownup who worked there and told her he had lost his Mom. As they were walking over to the main desk he saw me. He was mad but boy was Mom proud. See he really does listen to me sometimes.

Jayden is growing by leaps and bounds too. He can now climb onto a small chair. He is getting into a biting stage though and I do not know what to do. He bit me twice over the weekend. When you say NO loudly and with force he laughs. Ask my sister she has heard it. He is too little for the bite back thing to work and I have no ideas on what to try to stop the biting. BTW we are not breastfeeding, he bit my leg and my face.

Terrell will be 6 in 2 weeks and he is very excited to have a party. He keeps talking about tech decks too. Guess we are gonna have to buy some of those for him. He is doing great in school but we are having some minor problems at home with listening. I am sure it is just normal 6 year old boy crap.

I am doing good, Zoloft seems to be kicking in cause when DH tried to pick a fight this weekend I let it roll off my back. Work sucks right now though and I wish I didn't need to work. UGH oh well what can you do?

I am finally feeling better. I had to leave work on Thursday because whatever I had hit me like a ton of bricks. I spent all day Friday in bed minus the time it took to drop off T at school and pick him up. I tried to pawn J off on the sitter but she was sick too. I got lucky though and he slept for 2 hours with me in the morning. It could have been so much worse.

I did drag my butt out of bed on Saturday for 2 reasons. We had home inspection and I had a function at the hotel that I was coordinator for. I had to be there no way around it. The inspection went really well. There are some minor things, but what house is perfect? We need to put an electrical outlet in the bathroom since there isn't one. We also will be moving the dishwasher from the basement to the kitchen. Weird place to have a dishwasher but what can you do? We are now hammering out the purchase and sale contract. We should have that done some time tomorrow. Closing will be April 20th with a clause for them to extend it 30 days if need be. I need to kick the moving into high gear because before you know it Bam it is gonna be time. I am going to start this weekend with pictures and knick nacks, you know the dust collectors and work my way from there.

Jayden woke up about 3:30 this morning gagging and throwing up. Why do they always get sick in the middle of the night? He was whiny and clingy and unhappy most of the day. Poor thing couldn't keep a thing down. Then about an hour before I need to go to work he is able to keep water down. Daddy has him now and he is fine happy and giggling. Ate a whole bottle too with no throwing up in sight.

Update in bullets and pictures

• Got the first phone call home from the nurse on Wednesday. Poor T had a fever and was not himself.
• I had court yesterday, the lady took the plea agreement. Probation and loss of license as well as drunk driving classes. Could she have not took the plea earlier? Thanks for costing me gas, babysitting and parking. Bitch. Oh yeah she blew a .20 on the breathalyzer. Mass is .08 to be drunk.
• We went to the fair in Topsfield yesterday afternoon. We had a great time, T rode and elephant again this year and when I was taking a picture of him I managed to break my bra. I felt the underwire just snap under the strain of my giant tata's.
• I took what I believe will be our Christmas card picture this year. Yes I am going to be one of those people that send pictures instead of cards. Because I know how much you want to see my kids.
  
• I need your opinion on which picture to use, I like them both.
  

I like this one because of the obvious love T has for J.#1

I like this one because they are both smiling.#2 So please vote in the poll on my sidebar.

• That is all I can remember right now.
  

Served

I was going to write about my trip to see my Dad. I swear I was going to write a nice long post and then I got served. Served a summons to court. The cop came to my work and about scared the crap out of me. I am a witness in a OUI and child endangerment case going to trail in Oct. Great just what I needed to cap off my day. Seems the laughs just keep coming around here. Full story will be up on my other blog.

Pain.....

Yesterday I hurt my back, what was I doing you ask? Well at the time I was washing my hands after cleaning a poop diaper. The pain is radiating down my butt and legs. I however still managed to come to work. It sucks that I need to come in, but what are you gonna do? On the plus side I did get a raise last week. No one told me about it so I did not know until I opened my paycheck. Thank you very much!

Monday how I love Thee

So it is Monday of my first week back at work so you know that my body decided it was a grand ole time to have my period arrive. Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the 10 weeks and 3 days she stayed away after Jayden was born but did she have to come today? My tummy hurts and I am irritable not the best condition to train a new person. Oh well such is life.

Yesterday after getting home I noticed Jayden had a sharp edge on one of his nails. Being the good Momma I am I decided to cut it right away so he would not hurt himself with it. I could not find the baby nail clippers so what did I use? The giant big people toe clippers. What do you think happened?? I chopped off part of his thumb and he screamed and cried. I cried and my hubby got mad. Because making me feel worse about what happened is the best way to deal with the situation of course. I cleaned it up and put a band aid on it. Not a great idea as he decided putting his thumb in his mouth was a good idea and could have choked on it. Then to top it off last night the child would not go to sleep, he was screaming like crazy and I thought I was going to lose it. I tried a bottle, his binky, swaddling him, swing, bouncing in my arms etc. Finally I got him to calm down and fall asleep, then I put him in the bassinet and it started again. He ended up sleeping in my arms on the couch. I hope he does not repeat that again.

Ok so week two back to work was slightly better. I am now however dreading going back full time starting Sunday. God help me I have no idea how I am going to keep the house clean, the laundry done, sleep and play with the kids on top of working for 40 hours. Please pray for me, no seriously pray. In other news I am off for the next 3 days and I plan to fully enjoy it. We are planning to go to the pool tomorrow and laze around, other than that I have nothing to do, except clean, cook do laundry play with the kids and try to find time for some lovin for the hubby.

So So

Well so far this first week back to work has been ok. I am in no way ready to go back full time but will be doing so August 3. I miss my boys when I am at work and watch video of them on my phone. I was almost in tears the other night for want of holding Jayden. We are all lacking sleep. Tony who would go to bed at 8:30 every night is now up until 10 or 10:30 with the baby. I am getting to bed around midnight and then the little guy is up around 4. I am not getting enough sleep and neither is Daddy. Tempers are flaring over little things. It should be interesting when it is a 5 day a week thing. How can I get Jayden on a schedule? I mean seriously he needs to be sleeping earlier for Daddy to get some sleep plus I need to sleep too. Coffee is going to be my constant companion. Last night he went down around 10 or so but would not sleep in his crib, he does ok in the bassinet but is quickly out growing it. Any ideas on getting him to sleep in the crib? Last night he slept in his swing all night and I slept on the couch. He did sleep until 6:30 though. I was so tired at one point I looked up to see if he was in the swing and did not see him, in my mind I thought he was in the crib. Anyway help please!

Ahhhh

I am feeling extremely refreshed today. I came home last night and pretty much laid right down. I think I slept something like 12 hours. Woo I needed that. I guess I will be feeling the same way Friday night. Schedule change again and now I am off today and tomorrow but working Thursday night and Friday morning. One of my co workers husband is in the hospital so she is taking some time off.

Getting Terrell's birthday invites out today. Somehow I am now having 15 to 20 kids! This is going to be so much fun though and I can not wait. I may be back posting more later, we will see.