Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A bad place
That is where I am right now. My marriage is falling apart. Those are not pregnancy hormones talking either. Trust me being 8½ months pregnant is the only thing keeping me in this house. My husband is a alcoholic. He is never physically abusive to me but he hurts me just the same. He is very much a mental and emotional abuser. I know I need to go but right now I have to figure out a way to do that with a 5 year old and a soon to be newborn. I could just hop on a plane to Texas and be with my sister but I know he would fight me tooth and nail to get his kids. I am very seriously thinking of calling his father and mother and just letting it all out. I need them to understand that I tried. I really did but I can't do this anymore. I am just tired. I almost bought tickets to Dallas yesterday but I know I need to be here so the doctor can monitor the end of my pregnancy. I would be to scared going to a new state with doctors I don't know and who don't know my history. How did this happen to me? He was suppose to love me not hate me. How did my life turn into such a mess?