Friday, October 14, 2005
I am not happy. I don't know how to explain it but I feel like I could walk away from my marriage without a second thought. We just don't see eye to eye on anything anymore. Every little thing is a fight and to be honest I am tired of it. I am tired of never getting any affection, I am tired of feeling unloved, I am tired of being treated like I am an idiot. I AM NOT HAPPY. Tony never ever just hugs me or kisses me unless I iniate it, why not? Am I really unlovable? I know he is not big on public displays but come on it is a fight to get him to hold my hand in public. I honestly believe the only reason we are still together is because of T. He would be devestated not to have his Dad around and if we ever split I would need to move away in order to be able to afford to live on my own. I just don't know what to do. It is like I talk but he hears nothing of what I say. I wonder a year from now will we be together?