Hard

I am finding it really hard to get back into the swing of things. My house is a mess, I haven't cooked since we have been home the only thing I have managed to do is shower and go to work. I hate jetlag, I think we should get extra time off after visiting the left coast. Terrell is in break down mode today. He was last night as well, he went to sleep early but kept waking up and throwing fits. He has already screamed at nothing three times. I need to get his three year old pictures done soon maybe today we will have to see how it goes. I also have to get this house cleaned up, I can't stand it anymore.
Shannon has been asking what happened in my life that caused me and Zephra to be separated for so long. Here is the short version. Our mom left when we were very young, my Dad remarried. The woman he married was very abusive, they both drank a lot and I know she did pills. She beat me a lot, not spankings but out and out child abuse. One time she chased me out of the house with a hammer, I still have problems with my hip from that. I was not a good kid though, I ran away a lot, got involved with gangs and was generally trying to wipe my home life from my memory. When I was running away I guess the abuse got worse for Zephra and my other sister. It was funny no one ever asked why I kept running they just kept taking me back. At 14 I got pregnant and had a little boy Brian at 15. He is in an adopted home and I hope and pray he had a good life. My life was a mess and a jumble for a very long time, I did things I am not proud of now but it was all a matter of survival. I am lucky I came out of all this a stronger and a better person. I Got back in contact with Zephra in 1997 I think but I just wasn't ready for everything that being with her brought back to my mind. This time when I got back in touch with her it was because I was ready. I have forgiven my step mom and my Dad for my childhood. It wasn't easy but I had to for my own peace of mind. Mind you I said I forgave but I have not forgotten. So that is the short version of my life growing up.